Episode 007: Sarah Shoemaker: Stepping into the Soul Journey
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Dawn Gluskin: Hello and welcome back to another episode of Bare Naked Radio. I am your host, Dawn Gluskin and today, I am so excited to be chatting with this amazing woman, Sarah Shoemaker. Say “hello”, Sarah.
Sarah Shoemaker: Hey Dawn. Hey audience. It’s great to be here.
Dawn Gluskin: Yes, so excited to have you. We were just having a great chat before the show for, like, the last 30 minutes. I was, like, “Oh, we need to get started.” Excited to get going with you so everyone else can listen in.
Sarah is a woman’s resiliency coach who comes to this work after a lifetime of digging in, close observation, and doing the work personally. After becoming a birth mother at the age of 19, Sarah began striving and playing by all the rules, only to wake up one day in her early thirties and realize the true self that she had left behind. Always on a journey of the heart, Sarah has recently turned her career and education and leadership into one focused on women and mothers, in an effort to heal the collective wounded story of “never enough”. A woman of my own heart! So excited to have you here! Welcome Sarah.
Sarah Shoemaker: Thank you, Dawn. I love your mission of truth storytelling. Lovely. It’s right in alignment.
Dawn Gluskin: Yes it is. And I so get playing by all the rules and just waking up one day and be, like, “Oh no, no more! I was born to be a rebel”. So good to unleash that.
Let’s just get right into it and talk about your story a little bit here. So, you went from at the age of 19, being a birth mother and having those feelings that we all can relate to in some way of, “I’m not enough”, feeling disempowered. And all these many years later, you’ve come full circle and now you found your power and you’re taking a stand for other women to help them step into theirs, which is just beautiful how it comes around full circle that way. So, let’s hear about it a little bit. Take us back to age 19, how life was then, and how you stepped into this purpose.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah. I love that short version of the full circle. It doesn’t feel like that once you’re going through it.
Dawn Gluskin: When you’re in it, it’s a long road. But yeah, hindsight is like that.
Sarah Shoemaker: It is. It’s, like, “Oh that was all it took? Okay!” So, at 18, I got pregnant in my first semester of college, which was a shocker to everyone, for sure. And although I was very close with the birth father, after I became pregnant, it became very strained. I kind of had this, like, “I’m gonna put my head down, I’m going to do what needs to be done” and I really, really focused in on the pregnancy, on making sure she was okay, I’m making sure she was well.
And then, I chose her family through an open adoption process. I’ve actually been blessed enough to know my daughter and her family as she’s grown. She’ll be 18 this year. The story of being an 18 year old, 19 year old mother and coming from a family that really valued education, the story was “Well, you’re not enough yet, you’re not old enough yet, you don’t have enough education yet, you don’t have the marriage yet or the money yet.” So after placing my daughter – well and those things become just in our internal belief, like our internal monologue.
Dawn Gluskin: Absolutely and I think we all have our own version of that. Something that happened in our life, an event. And we create this whole story around it: this thing that happened, now it means something about me and who I am and it’s not true, but we believe it like it is. And we live our life like it’s true.
Sarah Shoemaker: Right. And that’s where – that’s trauma. It gets lodged and it has a story and a tape around it. And until we do some true healing work and some real digging in, those are the tapes that play. I just set about, like, “Okay, well, if I can’t raise this child, I’m going to do everything I can in order to be a mother again one day” in order to prove that I’m good enough. So I immediately went back to college. I was back in college probably two weeks after she was born. And I got one degree and then I immediately went back for a Master’s in Special Ed. And then, later I got a third degree – all of these degrees, like, “Oh, okay, well, I still don’t feel successful yet. The finances still aren’t in place yet. I wonder why.” And it’s because the tape was still playing.
Dawn Gluskin: It’s when we go outside of ourselves, too. “I just needed one more degree, then I’m going to love myself and life will be amazing!” And it’s, like, “No, that didn’t work. Okay. Another degree, then it’s going to happen!” And we all have our version of that, going outside ourselves and looking for that next thing that’s going to make it all come together.
Sarah Shoemaker: Right. Right. Yeah, definitely lived that and I talk about striving and “efforting”. Like, that is not a word in the dictionary!
Dawn Gluskin: It should be. Let’s put it in there.
Sarah Shoemaker: They should put it in there because it’s so real for so many women. Just continual “efforting” to just get there, to just be enough.
So, I did. I came back around to being a mother again, thank goodness. And my son is now nine. But when he was about four years old, I really started to remember the inherent nature of who I was and reawakened to that. And I developed a mindfulness meditation practice at the time, which is now what I help teach to women in my coaching. But really, it helped alleviate those anxious tapes of “I just have to do one more thing” or “I’ll feel successful when”. Just began the long road back to myself, I guess is how I say it.
Dawn Gluskin: When you finally turned the gaze inward and the attention inward, you realize “Oh, I am enough, I am perfectly enough just who I am in the world, just how I’m being and I don’t need all that other outside validation” which is the beautiful thing about a meditation practice and other spiritual practices, is that we learn that we are enough and we have always have been, always will be, and it doesn’t matter what our circumstances are or what’s happened in our life or what choices we’ve made. We’re all perfectly divine beings that are more than enough.
Sarah Shoemaker: So much more than enough. And I say sometimes: “Enough is only a baseline”. And yeah, I mean we still get caught up in it. Every single one of us. As I’m starting this business, I’m sometimes finding myself asking the same questions for saying, like, “Oh, I don’t know enough about that yet”. And then I laugh because I’m watching what I’m doing. It doesn’t all fully go away, but yes, when we turn toward ourselves and practice this acceptance, that maybe we weren’t shown externally, but we can start to give ourselves internally, We change our world.
Dawn Gluskin: Yeah, absolutely. And for someone else who’s on that path now and they’re trying to look inwards, they’re trying to find the truth of who they are and maybe erase some of those stories that are not serving: what’s some other work or some other tools or something they can actually implement in their life right now, in addition to the meditation, which is of course very powerful. But what else can they start to look at, an explorer start shifting.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah. Great. I actually want to stick with this topic of mindfulness for a minute because, often we’re looking for the next answer or the next affirmation or the the next thing outside of ourselves. But there’s this alchemy that happens within the individual when we can sit in full presence of ourselves.
Let’s say that there’s an emotion that you’d rather not have but continues to be persistent in your life. Oftentimes what we’re doing is walking away from that emotion and we want to turn our back on it, when really, what we need to do is cultivate the experience where we can actually learn to sit with it and kind of turn toward it. And then in that process, you shine the lights in the areas where you’ve been avoiding. And then it doesn’t have as much power anymore.
Dawn Gluskin: I love that. ‘Cause nobody ever teaches us that. We have this belief somewhere that “anger is bad” or “it’s not good to feel sad”. We have these judgements about our emotions. But the truth of the matter is our emotions, it’s just information and it’s telling us something. The more curious we get about that instead of pushing it away, the faster we can get through it. A lot of our instinct is just “pretend it’s not there” or we cope with it through whatever, alcohol or sex or shopping. Everyone has their own vice to deal with that.
Sarah Shoemaker: Perfectionism.
Dawn Gluskin: Like, working. There’s so many ways – eating. There’s just so many ways to not deal with. Just ask it. That’s what I do and it sounds a little weird, but it’s so powerful. Say, “Okay Anger, what are you trying to tell me today?” Or, “Okay Sadness, why are you here? What do I need to know?” And to your point, that is what mindfulness is all about, is being mindful and just exploring it and asking it and in sitting in meditation and letting the answers come through. It’s, like, “Oh, I’m angry because I’m not doing what I want in this world. That’s why in this manifesting this anger, so I need to change this.” Powerful.
Sarah Shoemaker: So powerful, and so often these beliefs or these circumstances, these things that happened in our lives, they become trapped in the body too. Not only is it this trapped emotion or trapped thought pattern, but all of that gets trapped in the body. And so, really kind of getting in touch with, like, how does the body hold these patterns? I do some of that work with women, but there’s plenty of great healers out there that do that kind of work, too.
But sometimes the mind is so busy blocking what it is that we’re trying to avoid that the truth actually lies elsewhere. When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I was actually holding trauma patterns in my body that – it was perpetuating and not even realizing it. So as I was going, going, going, the court is always up. And I eventually had this big adrenal crash when I was probably like 33 years old. For your adrenals to be that tired by the time you’re 33 – I was really hustling, you know?
Dawn Gluskin: Yeah. I experienced the same thing. This is burnout. What happens, in least in my world, I was, like, “Okay, so I’m just going to wake up and I’m going to get my coffee” because you need that stimulant to get going. You go, go, go all day, maybe have more coffee, whatever it takes – hustle, hustle, hustle. And then at night, I needed to wind down. So I was, like, “Oh, I need to have my glass of wine or two glasses”.
And then I finally realized a pattern. Like, “Wait a second, I need a substance to start my day, I need a substance to end my day, and everything in between”. It’s just go, go, go and working out and working. And I experienced the same sort of thing and it’s about the same age, too, so it’s something that we do to ourselves. Now I don’t drink coffee or wine. I function beautifully and I feel the best I’ve had in my life because I’ve gotten curious about, like, “Why does it have to be like this?” and gotten more back to my body’s natural rhythms and ways of being and listening. Some days are ebb days, which means just resting and relaxing. And then I had my flow days where it’s, I can hustle and it’s just tuning in.
Sarah Shoemaker: I’m so glad you brought that up. Those cycles of rest are just so essential for the nourishment of the body.
Dawn Gluskin: And after an ebb, if you take the time for yourself and you know that you’ve been working really hard and you take that day just to, whatever, meditate, go to the beach, journal, get a massage, just take care of yourself and the next day you’re back at it. You’re so refreshed, the ideas are flowing, and you’re just reinvigorated. They’re so critical. The busier you are, the more important those days are.
Sarah Shoemaker: It’s so true. And I think for the women who are listening who are just still crunching it all the time, just really not allowing themselves to slow down because they think that there’s no time to slow down. It is really something to experiment with because that pause allows you to get this –
I love when people call emotions like a navigation system. Because it really allows you to – “what is the next piece of action that would actually make me feel better”? Not just accomplish the next thing, but really be in alignment with what I am trying to create and produce in the world.
Dawn Gluskin: Yeah, and that’s such a great word, “alignment”, “feeling”. So, the word in there is not “strategy”. It’s not about “forcing”. I’m all for strategy, you need to have strategy in your business. You can’t just feel your way through everything, even though I basically do! You have to have some strategy. But yeah, that tuning in is so powerful because then, what should I say “yes” to, what should I say “no” to, what should I do today? And I actually say that every morning in my morning ritual, my morning prayer, and then I asked that question, “What would you have me do today? What would you have me say? Where would you have me go and to whom?”
Just ask those questions and get curious and just receive whatever comes through. For some people, that may sound a little out there but it’s the energy and the intention and it’s so powerful. That’s how I manage everything I do. I don’t even schedule anything before 10 o’clock every morning. The time before that is my time to journal, to meditate, to take care of myself, and I get a lot done from that point.
Sarah Shoemaker: If that spiritual ring really isn’t resounding for people – I came from working in schools and, like, teaching mindfulness in schools and there we’re not talking about mindfulness as a spiritual practice. It’s very secular. We say “inserting the pause”. You’re just bringing this pause that’s intentional into your day and then breathing and in doing that, we’re regulating the nervous system, regulating the body and clearing the space a little bit for that – maybe it’s divinely-inspired action, maybe a spiritual message. Maybe it’s just, like, “Oh, right, that was the next thing I wanted to do” – wherever folks are coming from.
Dawn Gluskin: Don’t get tripped up over the language and just get curious about it. I like how you said that, a “pause”. Instead of, “let’s meditate”. No, let’s just pause, check in with ourselves. Language is beautiful. I love language and I’m a writer, but it also can be limiting and sometimes we can be limited by the constraints of language, so don’t get ever get tripped up with a concept or an idea because of the wording, but just feel into it and be curious about how that can affect your life.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, totally. Something for everyone.
Dawn Gluskin: You have recently made the transition into full-time entrepreneurship. So, first of all, congratulations!
Sarah Shoemaker: Thank you!
Dawn Gluskin: The most exciting and the most scariest time of one’s life, when you look over the edge of that cliff and you’re just, like, “I’m just going to do it” and you jump in, you’re, like, “Oh my gosh, I’m falling”. Then at some point your wings come in and you start flying. It’s exhilarating and it’s scary. Tell us a little bit about how that is for you and what you’re up to now, what you’re going into full-time and why you were called to do it.
Sarah Shoemaker: Awesome. Yeah. I don’t quite feel like I’m falling, so I hope – maybe that’s to come –
Dawn Gluskin: It’s a ride, day by day.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, totally. So, I started Embodied Breath about six or eight months ago. This idea was really coming to me and we just had this conversation about whether or not to use spiritual language, but I will say that I have been answering a call. It is not something I even expected to be doing. But about a year ago, I started to really feel pulled in this direction. I have been working with children in schools, but my main focus was never really the academics. Even as a school administrator, my main focuses were how do kids feel, how are their hearts, how are their bodies? And so, really creating heart-centered holistic schools.
And in doing that, I was also kind of doing all of my personal work alongside of that in the last four or five years. And so my heart was being called to women and I’m also watching the mothers of the adolescents that I worked with. I’m watching like these loops that trip us up as women and as mothers, these, like, “not good enough loops”, “shame loops”, “guilt loops”. Just with all of the trauma healing that I had gone back to do all of the inquiry that I had personally walked through, still walk through, around the relationship between the masculine and the feminine. Just really, really being called to work with women and mostly allow women space to share their story. Like what you’re doing, Dawn. And to really own what it is they really want in their lives. So, if we’re following somebody else’s rules that were set up a long time ago, maybe there’s a part of us that got lost.
Dawn Gluskin: And that’s the one thing we talk about on this show a lot is the number one deathbed regret. And I bring that up just because we have time to shift that now while we’re still living in and not wait ’til we’re in that point and just looking back.
What people always say when asked that question: “Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would do differently?” The most prominent answer is, “I wish I had lived a life true to myself instead of the life that others had wished for me”. And that’s what you are saying. We live by other people’s rules, other people’s wishes, desires. We get trapped in other people’s beliefs and it gets so clouded. We’re, like, “Who even am I? What do I want?” And we want to make other people happy. And then at the end of our life, we have this epiphany, “Oh my God, I was supposed to be doing this the whole time”. And unfortunately it’s too late.
Sarah Shoemaker: How sad is that.
Dawn Gluskin: Yeah. But it’s not too late right now. And for people that have that – I find that it’s “the call” as you call it, which I love. That’s what I call it too. Sometimes it whispers. There’s this knowing: there’s something else, there’s something more. “I love being a mom”, “I love working for this company”, or whatever it is. “I love this part of my life and I know I’m here on this planet right now for something more”. Either rise up and answer it, even though it’s scary and even though you don’t know the next step and what’s the future gonna look like. Or you can ignore it, which a lot of us do for years and years. And sometimes, the universe will smack you in the head with a two-by-four to wake you up and sometimes, you step into it on your own and sometimes, you never do anything. That’s when that regret comes in, at the deathbed.
Sarah Shoemaker: One of the reasons why I feel like I’m not freaking out right now, in terms of your entrepreneurial question, is because I’ve been straddling both worlds of education and entrepreneurial-ship for half a year now.
Dawn Gluskin: Which from a strategy perspective, is actually a great strategy. Wean your way in. You don’t just wake up one day – “I quit my job!”
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, no, that wasn’t the process. I’m a single woman with a mortgage! Being strategic and heartfelt was the intent. I’ll have calls with women because I always give a free consult so that we can feel each other out, no pressure, because the woman has to be ready. You have to be ready to say “yes” for ourselves and to ourselves. I’ve gotten off the phone with women and they say, “Oh, well, I’m going to think about it”. And then it’s, like, “Ah, not right now”. And I feel sad, generally speaking, because I’m, like, “Oh man, she just turned off that light for a little bit”, you know? Everybody has their process. I wish each of them well. I hope that it turns back on for them so that it’s not like that end of life regret, “Oh, I was such a good mom, but I stuck with that career that I really didn’t want”. It’s heartbreaking because we do all have these specific gifts to bring.
Dawn Gluskin: And what happens a lot of time too, when people do that, when they just can’t quite find the courage to take that step or they’re just not quite ready. And they keep saying, “Tomorrow or next week, next month. Give me six more months”. When I owned my technology company – my story is I grew a business from zero to 3,000,000 back to zero again. The whole time I was in it, I knew that wasn’t what I was meant to do. It making good money, I loved it, but I always had this in the back of my head, “I’m gonna do this for one more year, then sell the company. I’m going to take that money, I’m going to do what I really love” and like seven years later, the universe is listening to me the whole time, “Okay, Dawn. Today’s the day. Your time is up. We’re going to take all of this from you and you’re going to have to start from scratch and now’s your chance to do it right”. Which it did and it was devastating, but I got the message finally.
That’s how it occurs for some of us. Some of us need that two-by-four in the head. Or sometimes it shows up as an illness. People working themselves to death and going into the hospital and almost losing their life and then they get that second chance. There’s just different variations of how we finally come to the truth of who we are and taking that next step. It is scary. Anyone listening, if you have that curiosity, I just invite you to explore it. And as someone that also does coaching and consulting and healing work, I get what you say when you’re so sad for them because you want it so bad for them and you can see their future for them and you also have to respect where they are and their readiness and their willingness and you can never force it. So, you just provide a space and be open to supporting someone when they’re ready.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, that is completely my approach. I kind of joke a little bit because I worked in special education for a number of years. There’s a lot of resistance on the part of some children and I love that. I love the mystery. About three or four months ago, I was, like, “Oh my gosh, you know what? I just cannot wait to work with clients who are just so ready to work with me”.
Dawn Gluskin: Those are the best.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah. Right. Right. That’s what I’m doing here. I’m not pressuring anyone into doing work that they’re not ready to do and I’m standing here and I’m only working with women right now. I’m only coaching women. It really is the sisterhood of, like, “Okay, Women, what do you want, what do you know, deep down that you may have been ignoring, what kind of support, do you need?”
Dawn Gluskin: I know, too, from my own experience, that the conversations that you’re having with them, even if they’re not ready to take that next step yet, you are still planting a seed or helping them plant the seed, helping them water is a little bit, and it’s going to grow and they’ll come back. They just might need to work through some stuff first.
Sarah Shoemaker: Absolutely. If it’s not me, it’s not me. It’s not about that. This work is to be of service. The Feminine right now.
Dawn Gluskin: Absolutely. But I do see a lot of – there’s a lot of that going on in the planet right now where people are really assessing their lives. On one hand, it’s a little bit destructive. You see these long-term careers ending or these long term relationships are ending and there’s all these big endings going on. But on the other side of that, are these new beginnings. There’s just a calling out there in the universe for people, women and men, to rise up and to bring us into this new world. There’s so much going on in the world right now that’s just heartbreaking and it’s not who we are as humans. It’s not why we’re here. It’s not the way things could be. And we’re here to shift that and people are stepping up. It’s beautiful.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, I love it. I was just thinking that I wouldn’t have mentioned this thing about story that came to mind. A lot of us identify with a story that has this pain point where we get stuck in it. You probably work with a lot – and then there’s like this point where, you honor the story, honor the trauma, have healed it. Because it really does take some healing. It’s not like you just absolutely one day wake up and decide.
Dawn Gluskin: It doesn’t work like that. It’s a process.
Sarah Shoemaker: It is such a process. It’s picking up every rock on the path and looking under it. That’s what I inherently do for myself. My birthday is next month and I was born on the day of the soul searcher. Leave no rock unturned. That is the story of my life. After you’ve done that healing, then there’s honor for this story without identifying with those pain points anymore. I can talk about the pregnancy of my first child and her adoption and how it changed my life, but there’s not this emotional charge to it, I’m reliving pain every time, you know?
Dawn Gluskin: That’s why I do the work I do around storytelling. It’s a big part of the work I do in my business – helping people find out who they are in and tell their stories because when we don’t, when we have, like, shame around something, we walk around, and we take that with us. Everywhere we go, that whole, like, “I’m not enough” or “they’re going to find out the truth about me. I can’t ever let anyone know this” that we show up as like masked version of ourselves, just pretending like, “Oh God, I hope they never find out about me”.
That’s why this is Bare Naked Radio. It’s about just ripping it off, the peeling off all those masks, all those layers and being, like, “No, this is who I am” and just being vulnerable and “This is my story. This is what’s happened. This is my life and you know what? I’m not ashamed of it anymore”. And there’s something just so healing and liberating about that. Once you own your story, it no longer owns you. You don’t have to go public and shout from the rooftops, but just even owning it with yourself. Saying, “that’s what happened to me and you know what? I’m not ashamed of it anymore”. Yeah. It’s so healing, it’s so liberating.
Sarah Shoemaker: I personally believe that inside of those deepest traumas, inside of that story that we’re holding on to feeling shame about, is also our greatest liberation and our greatest life’s lesson and therefore our greatest gift to offer back to the world.
Dawn Gluskin: Yes. That’s how it goes. Yes. My stand in the world is about full self-expression and being the truth of who you are. And the irony is I spent my childhood and a lot of my early years being the opposite of that. Completely un-self expressed, very quiet, very withdrawn, didn’t have a voice and now I’m, like, “Give me a microphone”. Now I won’t shut up! It’s full circle. [Our pain] becomes what we get to teach in the world and also what we get to learn and continue to master and be embodied even deeper.
Sarah Shoemaker: Oh, beautiful. Thank you for doing the work you do in the world.
Dawn Gluskin: I love it. I love it. I also want to say one other thing, too – when you talk about healing and it doesn’t happen overnight and that’s how it occurs and as you start doing this work, as you start practicing mindfulness, as you start looking at your shadows, that you start really getting real about your emotions and what are they here to tell me. As you start making that your every day practice – because it’s like a muscle. Like when you go to the gym and you work out a muscle and it becomes stronger. Your ability to work through any situation and heal through a crisis of any kind, it becomes so much easier. Something that would normally take you out for six months, you can work through it in six minutes. Once you become masterful at this, you feel it, you’re, like, “What are you here to teach me? Got it. Okay, moving on”. Then it becomes like that. So, it’s worth it to do the work and life gets easier. A little motivation for anyone listening that’s, like, “Oh, but it’s so much work”. It’s powerful and it gets easier.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, it really does. This is why I love mindfulness as a tool because it’s really accessible and it doesn’t have to be a spiritual practice unless you want it to be. It’s not a prayer practice unless you want it to be. Just the breath work and the orientation – I’m seeing results in my clients where they were super afraid of being seen in the world or doing any sort of public speaking or even a woman speaking up in a room full of men in a meeting – that kind of thing. And then they’re seeing the results in that from their personal practice. I’m the coach, I’m the guide, but really, their own personal practice around these techniques that we’re learning together – it’s transforming their lives on a daily basis. So they’re, like, “Oh, okay. So this time I felt strong enough, centered enough, regulated enough in my body to speak up when I was being spoken over”. Keep showing up for yourself.
Dawn Gluskin: You’ll be surprised, as you continue doing this work, you’re just going to reach these new levels of badass-ery that you didn’t even know existed in yourself. I’m loving this conversation. I would talk to you all day because we can just talk and talk and talk and I would love that and it’s getting to the end of the show. I always like to let our audience know where they can find out more about you. If they’re vibing with your message, like, where are you on social media? What are you up to now? Now is your chance to let people know.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, my website is www.yourembodiedbreath.com and I really do use a lot of Facebook and Instagram. I’m “Sarah Shoemaker” on Facebook and I’m also Embodied Breath on Facebook and Instagram. I would love to connect with women one on one. I have a lot of one-on-one coaching opportunities right now and some group work. As I follow my heart, we’ll see how that group work evolves. I do work online and distance as well. So, proximity to me physically is not an obstacle.
Dawn Gluskin: Awesome. Yeah. If you are wanting to connect with Sarah, make sure you go check out her website, follow on social media, and all of those addresses will also be in the show notes on www.barenakedradio.com. So, definitely hook up with her. Well Sarah, it has been absolutely amazing talking to you. You’re just such a wealth of knowledge and you just have this real grounded presence. You just feel like, “Aaaaah” in your presence. So, thank you so much for baring so openly with us today.
Sarah Shoemaker: Yeah, and like I said, thank you so much for your work in the world. Sharing stories is powerful practice, so thank you for stepping into your gifts and bringing it to all of us.
Dawn Gluskin: Absolutely, it’s my pleasure. Alright, thank you.
Sarah Shoemaker: Thanks. Bye.
